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When Honesty Hurts

Dear Joe,

My name is Ellen I'm 23 years old, and I work for a company in Makati City. I never thought I would be writing to you to ask for advice, but here I am, asking not for myself but for my friend , Marvin.

We were in our first year in college when Sheila, a friend I’d known since high school, told me she had a crush on a boy named Marvin. Joe, right from the start, Sheila knew that it was only a one-way thing since Marvin doesn’t even know her. However, she kept on wishing that she could meet him personally and someday be more than friends. So I took the courage to befriend Marvin and introduce him to her. But it was just a “Hi and hello” thing and nothing else happened for the next two years.

Sheila eventually had a relationship with Anthony . He was a young man she met during our senior year who she said yes to simply because he looked very much like Marvin. Anthony and Sheila were clearly happy during the first few months of their relationship. Sheila was so into him but however, their relationship started to grow cold. She tried to win Anthony back button no avail until everything eventually just came to an end.

Joe, it was during Sheila’s on an off relationship with Anthony that Marvin and I became close friends. He confessed to me that he had feelings for Sheila, even before I introduced them to each other. I just kept this information from Sheila, Joe but when Marvin learned about their breakup, he mustered his strength to let her know how he truly felt for her although I wondered to myself if Sheila was ready for another relationship.

Marvin continued to keep me updated with stories of his going out with Sheila. He told me she would kiss him goodnight every time he brought her home, which made him think they had something special going for themselves. It was hard for me to be really honest with Marvin , Joe, because I knew sheila was also entertaining another guy at that time.

After college, Marvin and I kept our communication lines open. Eventually, he told me that he and Sheila were officially together. While I was so happy for the both of them even if it seemed that Marvin was the only one willing to make the relationship work. I somehow felt that it was just a one sided relationship. This is why I was shocked when Marvin told me one day that he and Sheila were getting married.

I had my reservations but I was genuinely happy for them. Just the other day, I received a wedding invitation from Sheila. I excitedly opened it, Joe, and to my extreme shock, it wasn’t Marvin’s name that was written on it.

I called Sheila to ask her if she was joking, and judging from the excitement in her voice, she wasn’t. I wanted to scream angrily at at her and ask her how she could have the nerve to do that to Marvin, who I know deeply loves and care for her. If we were talking face-to-face, I think I could have even slapped her.

What hurts me most, Joe, was that she didn’t seem to care about Marvin's feelings and I don’t think she even plans to tell him about this at all.

Marvin and I met soon after that conversation. He was so excited about their wedding and he even told me he was going to ask Sheila to get me as one of her bridesmaids. Joe, I just stood silently in front of him, trying to figure out how to react, in complete disbelief on how she could have done this.

Joe, I don’t know what to do. A month from now, Sheila is getting married to someone one else. How is Marvin going to take this? He loves Sheila so much. I don’t think Sheila even has plans of being honest with him about all these.

Joe, should I break the news to Marvin or should I just wait for Sheila to tell him ? I feel like I am betraying Marvin for keeping silent and now I am caught between pretending I know nothing and telling him the truth that I know will break his heart into pieces. I am also confused because I beginning to have mixed feelings for Marvin lately. I don’t know if I just pity him or if I am beginning to like him more than a friend.

Thank you Joe for reading this letter. Please help me find some meaning in all of these

Sincerely yours,

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