A Whirlwind Romance
Hi Joe. I’ve been following your program for some time now and I was inspired to send you an email because I’ve proven just how good you are in giving out advice. You see, Joe, I met Justine late last year. He was 29 then and I just turned 21. It was more of what everyone would call a “whirlwind romance”. We started as friends on the web.
We’d spend a lot of time chatting. I was compelled to give him my number because of his persistence. Never did it occur to me that it would be the start of a deeper friendship for us. He’s very sweet and thoughtful, Joe. He’d text me every now and then just to ask how I am doing. Though I’ve never really seen him, I felt that I was already falling for him. Until one day, his persistence and efforts finally paid off. I finally agreed to meet him. It was pure impulse, Joe. I just woke up that particular morning and felt that I wanted to meet him too. I never expected anything from that meeting, but as it turned out, something special was in store for us. It wasn’t difficult to like him. He’s very charming. He has eyes that light up whenever he smiles. Apart from the good looks, what really made me fall for him were his honesty and his enthusiasm to really get close to me. Days passed, and I got to know him better. We’d spend weekends together, Joe. We’d even talk on the phone for hours. He told me everything that I needed to know about him, Joe, the good and bad. He said he wants to give me a clear picture of what I am going to put myself into, just in case we hit it off.
I found out that he loves his mom so much and that he’d never attempt to hurt her. I learned about his passion for dogs. I learned a lot about him. But one thing shocked me. I learned that he is a playboy-someone who indulges in flings and one-night stands and gets into bed with the first available girl every time he gets disappointed, frustrated or depressed. That scared the wits out of me, Joe. He also has this thing about suddenly losing love or interest on someone leaving that person rattled and wondering. Although signs were already telling me not to pursue a relationship with him, I chose not to heed them. I loved him, Joe and I’m very much willing to get hurt just so I could help him. He showed me a lot of proof that he wants to leave that life behind and start anew, with me. He’s willing to turn his life around for me and for our blossoming relationship.
Eventually we became a couple, Joe, and everything went smoothly between us. If soul mates were real, then Justine might just be my soul mate. I felt great with Justine, Joe, that is, until the syndrome struck. One day, he was oddly cold. He was insensitive and was treating me indifferently too. He told me that he knows that he loves me, but he just couldn’t feel it. He says that he doesn’t even remember how I look like. We’ve already talked about this before, and he said that should the syndrome strike, he requested me to be brave enough to get past the ordeal. He wants me to make him remember, to make him stay. I did exactly that, Joe. Though it was killing me, I painstakingly reminded him of everything we’ve been through. I love him so much, and I made sure that he felt it. I reminded him of all the late night talks, the weekends we spent together, everything. I was able to bring him back, Joe. But, It wasn’t the last time that something like that happened and I always try to pull him out of the ordeal. I could say that we are now in a deeper level of a relationship. And then something came up again, Joe. A close relative of his family passed away and he was so depressed about it that he started going out with two girls on two different nights just so he could forget about his grief. I never learned about his relative’s death. I only learned about it only after he was already buried. I felt bad about it. I was his girlfriend and I believe that I am also entitled to know about it. But I tried to understand him when he told me that his family wants it to be a private affair. I never learned about the 2 girls as well, Joe, not after days have already passed. I was hurt, but I never got mad at him. I knew even from the start that something like this would and could happen. And now my biggest problem is that he wants me to just forget him and move on. He says that he’s sick and that he’d just go on hurting me if we still pushed through with the relationship. I am really clueless on what to do, Joe. I love him so much and I am very much willing to go through everything with him, but he keeps on telling me that though he’s seen just how strong I am with relationships, it kills him to see me get hurt.
Joe, what can I do to keep this relationship? Please help me.