Dear Joe,
Just call me Andy. I met Julie at our office and we became very good friends . She would always run to me whenever she feels she needs to talk to someone about her disappointment with her boyfriend. She kept telling me that she would be the happiest girl in the world if Ted could be even half as hard-working as I am. I on the other hand also found her quite admirable. A product of an unwanted pregnancy, Julie refused to
buckle to the pressure of being the only child of an unwed mother. She works hard to support her mom and even gives generous help to her extended family.
This mutual admiration led to the two of us drawing closer to each other, until one night while prepping up for a project at my place, Julie and I were carried away by our growing feelings for each other. I was delighted to discover that I was her "first." Since then the two of us started a relationship unknown to her boyfriend Ted. They still continue on with theirs, though. I'm not the type of guy who would willingly share a girl with another man, but since Julie persistenly refused to break up with him, I thought I just had to settle with what I have in the meantime.
Then one day Julie learned that Ted had been cheating on her. She was so mad at him that she finally broke up the relationship, obviously to my advantage. But since then another facet of her
personality started to manifest: Julie is extremely insecure. Most of the times she would nag me about other girls that I come in contact with at work and in my social life. The smallest of things have triggered nasty confrontations, since I am also not particularly tolerant to her tantrums. Most of the times we're ok. Whenever we're not fighting, Julie is actually the sweetest, most thoughtful, caring and
affectionate woman in the world. But whenever we fight, she turns into vicious tiger, a trait that I found so hard to accept.
Soon Julie was already asking me when are we going to get married. I know that I love her, but there are some things with myself and my career that I need to settle first before tying the knot. So I told her that we'll start the wedding preparations as soon as I come back from a six month long overseas project that I have to deliver . She was clearly disappointed. She said a lot could happen in six months She said she is willing to forgo a formal church ceremony for a quick civil wedding -- to which I am strongly opposed.
Joe , just before I left, Julie julie broke up with me . She said she accepted Ted's marriage proposal, but she emphasised that she still loves me more than him.
I was shocked at the fact that it was so easy for her to just turn her back on me and decide to marry her ex-boyfriend just because I'm not ready for marriage yet. I felt like all those three years we spent with each other are about to go down the drain, and she didn't seem to care about all that time. That's when I realized that I loved her too much to just let her go without a fight.
The day after she told me of her plans of marrying Ted, I immediately rushed to the jewelry store to buy an engagement ring. But when I gave her the ring, she just broke down and cried. And it's not because of happiness. I was shocked beyond words when Julie told me that she's a month pregnant, and Ted is the father of the baby.
By the time you read this letter Julie and Ted would probably be married already. It took a great deal of courage but finally I have come to accept the reality that I have lost her understand why it had to happen. When we were together, Julie was so passionate with her feelings for me. For three years, even though we fought a lot, it's like it's us against the world. Now whenever I look back at what happened, I can't seem to find the Julie that I came to know and love. It's like she turned into a completely different person.
Somebody once told me that Julie was never really in love with me. Rather, she was in love with my potential as a husband. If it's true, then I guess I wasted all those years loving a woman who's sole objective in life is to get married, regardless of who it is she's marrying. If I had known, I wouldn't have exerted all that effort trouble shooting a turbulent relationship. I have since learned to accept what happened, but sometimes I stop and think about Julie. I guess I still miss her. She is after all the woman that I loved the most.
Joe, thank you for this opportunity for me to share my experience with you. I wish you all the best, and also to your colleagues. God bless.
Sincerely,
Andy