Just call me Kevin. I’m in my mid-30’s and am currently unemployed. I lost my job as a department head of a multinational corporation some months back. I guess it was karma that brought me to where I am now.
My story began when I met Trisha, a college student, at a Manila nightspot several years back. Trisha was so fun to be around; she saw beauty in almost every little thing and she had no pretensions in life. We became really close, and would tell each other our secrets, but I never told her about Myra, who was another girl I was seeing.
Soon, Trisha I became more than just friends. At first, I thought that she was just another fling, but it became clear to me as time went on that we both were falling in love. She gave herself to me Joe, but I still could not tell her about Myra.
It wasn’t long when Trisha found out my relationship with Myra. Trisha became paranoid and we would constantly argue about her. She began to closely inspect all my things. She would look in my car, my pockets, my wallet, my bag, the messages in my devices, everywhere! And she started becoming so emotional, crying all the time at the slightest things. So I began to take business trips that became more frequent, just so I could see less of her and more of Myra.
Little did I know that Trisha was carrying a little life in her womb… our first child! But I wasn’t ready yet to commit myself to that huge responsibility. Besides, I was still seeing Myra.
So Joe, she gave birth to our son without me. No, she didn’t leave me, Joe. I left them. I stopped communicating with Trisha because I was afraid that her family would force me to marry Meanwhile, I continued with my bachelor’s lifestyle with Myra, and had relationships with different women at the same time.
But Joe, Every so often, I would dream of a little boy, crying and calling out my name which I tried very hard to ignore.
Two years later, I bumped into Trisha at the mall. She was tagging along behind Joey who looked exactly like the little boy I saw in my dreams.
After my initial state of shock, I asked Trisha if we could meet and she agreed. When she formally introduced me my son, Joey even called me “Daddy” right away, and kissed me goodbye when it was time for me to go.
After that meeting, I told myself I should man up for what I did. Trisha’s family welcomed me back like nothing had happened. I’d spend nights with them and cook and play and sing with my son. Trisha and I started to date, and for the second time, she became pregnant.
Joe, the shock of this second pregnancy stirred up something inside me, and my old fear of commitment came back. I ran away from her and Joey, and went back to my old ways. Trisha tried to talk it out with me but I was too immature to listen, too busy with my career and my women, particularly with Myra. So, for the second time, again without me beside her, Trisha gave birth to my child, a baby girl that she named Beige.
For months, I denied to everyone, including my officemates and friends, that I had children with Trisha or any other woman. I knew this hurt Trisha and my kids, but I just couldn’t bring myself to accept that responsibility. Besides, I didn’t want to hurt Myra.
It was cruel and well, bad deeds don’t reap good rewards. Several months after I left my family, I lost my job. The bank repossessed my car. My so-called friends left me one after the other. And Myra? Well, she left me too, two months after I became jobless–it became clear she was just after what I had when I still had work.
One day, I decided to call Trisha, and Joey answered the phone. I asked him how they had been, and what he told me something that broke me into pieces . He said his mom was getting married. I asked Joey if he liked the guy, and he said no. Trisha confirmed that she was engaged to this man she met at a party. I begged her for another chance. She told me that she still loved me but was just too afraid of getting hurt again.
Joe, what should I do? I recently heard that Trisha has broken off her engagement with that other man, but she hasn’t told me that she’s ready to resume our relationship. Every night, I dream of all of us together, me, her and our children, a happy family. But I know I’ve hurt them deeply and I think I’ve already lost them, especially the only woman who never hurt me, all her life, who has always been there and loved me despite my shortcomings and lies. Joe, is it too late to prove that I can be a good partner for Trisha and a good father to my kids?
I hope that Trisha is listening right now, and if she is, I just want to tell her, “I love you so much, baby. Kisses to our little angels.”
Joe, thank you for taking time to read my letter. More power to you and to your show. May you continue to enlighten more lost souls, and God bless.