Dear Joe,
Call me Enzo . I have been legally but secretly married to my wife for almost 3 and a half years now. Last January, a very unfortunate incident happened. I found out that she was having an affair with another married man. I confronted her but she vehemently denied that there was somebody else in her life. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and we agreed that we will give each other some space and live independently from each other until are ready to sort things out.
Not long after that, she messaged me and told me she wanted to talk to me. We met that night and before she could utter a word she suddenly burst into tears and asked for my forgiveness. She didn't want to tell me how it happened but after a while she finally confessed to me everything. She admitted that she betrayed me by going out with another guy for quite a number of times. Joe, even though I felt like a knife cut through my heart and was in disbelief with details of her confession what I felt was not hatred but compassion for her. Joe, because of the great love I have for my wife, I forgave her. I accepted her with open arms as if nothing happened. Joe, I really love her very, very much even up to now.
Joe, I was praying that things would go back to normal, but instead of making up for the pain she caused me, she went back to her old selfish ways and began to push me against the wall by always taunting me to get mad. I really did not know at that time if she was doing it on purpose. All I knew was I’m trying my best not let her feel that I have intentions of getting back at her for what she did to me. I tried my best to show her that I still love her very much in spite of her infidelity. In fact, the way I treated her was as if I was the one who cheated her .
The following week, she invited me to a lunch date which got me very excited. I came early and waited for quite a while. I don’t know Joe but from the very start I did not feel comfortable anymore because she came late didn't even apologize. But that was about it. She was different this time, she tried to do
things that she didn’t do before, like putting food to my plate which prompted me to ask her where she learned to do such a thing.
I don’t know if she wasn’t aware of what she said when she casually told me that those were the other guy’s exact words.
Joe, I was really felt embarrassed. I felt I was a nobody. Why is she doing this to me? What did I do wrong aside from loving her too much ? Those were the questions that entered into my mind. So, after she realized that she was able to inflict some damage, she asked, once again , if we could stop seeing each other .
We didn't talk for a week until I decided to surpirse her in her workplace. We had a heart to heart talk and I asked her if she really does not care for me anymore. She told me that she wasn’t sure . So, I gave her time. After talking to some of her female officemates I found out that my wife was just waiting for my call so she could finally end things between us. I was in awe, Joe! How is it that when I am talking to her she claims the exact opposite of what she is telling her friends? I really feel that she is just toying with my feelings? I felt really helpless Joe because I also discovered that she was spreading rumours and telling everyone exaggerated lies about me
I feel so hurt Joe. I still respect her but look at what she is doing to me? I don't think I deserve such a treatment. Joe, I don't know if I have to say this but for the entire 6 1/2 years that my wife and I have known each other, I was always the one who was giving in most of the time. I tried to understand her in pain and for her selfishness and immaturity because I love her very, very much . Just imagine, she went to a motel with that guy but I still accepted her. I still chose to believe her even is she has broken my trust and lied to me so many times . She played with my feelings as if I was a piece of trash.
She’ still seeing the other guy Joe. I don't know if I should tell her that the guy will just use and dump her eventually. The guy is separated from his wife but they are still technically married. I have a strong feeling that the guy will exploit her. Many people who know the guy believe so.
Please help me Joe! I don't know what to do. I have recovered already but she still lingers in my heart and nothing has changed because I still love her very much like how I always have loved and cherished. My friends , her friends and everyone who knows about us are begging me to forget and her and never accept her back
but I must admit I still want to give her a chance because i Still love her even after all that she has done to me.
What will I DO Joe? I love her but I don’t know if she can ever love me Back…….
Hoping to hear your wisdom on this seemingly hopeless pursuit
Sincerely yours,
Enzo