In my heart, mind and soul - - It'll always be a memory that made me realize that there are only two people in this world,
"One who make things happen...and one who wait for things to happen"...I hope
this serves as a challenge, lesson & inspiration to all of those who loved and
I met Mark on a New Year's Eve, at a party I've avoided if I could have come
up with good reason not to be there. As I unenthusiastically drove to the
party, I plotted an early escape - - until a tall, dark-haired man greeted me
near the front door. Mark was from New York City but was in Washington, DC
for a post-Christmas vacation, visiting a former roommate. I liked him
immediately. He talked easily about his family and Graduate School, and his
comical impersonations lit up the room as we waited for midnight.
Witty. Confident. Intelligent. I went through my mental checklist of qualities
I desired in a mate, and realized Mark fit the bill more than anyone I'd met
in years. I watched him weave through the room, talking and joking with
people, and felt something inside twist with nervous excitement. When he
caught my eye later and motioned me over to a quiet corner of the room to
talk, I hoped that the attraction I felt was mutual.
We had five days before he drove back home, and we crammed as much as we could into that time. We toured museums, the White House, the Pentagon & all other botanical gardens in Virginia and lastly watched a play at the Kennedy Center which turned out really romantic. While it snowed almost every day, and I was exhausted for lack of sleep, I wore a permanent and ridiculous smile because of him.
Finally, the person I’d been waiting and praying for had come into my life. It had been a long wait. One and a half years had passed since I've dated anyone seriously, and I’d spent much of that time agonizing over my singleness. Again and again, I wonder why God hadn't chosen me for the blessing of marriage.
The whole world seemed different after I met Mark. He told me that I had all the qualities he was looking for in a wife. My heart pounded with the anticipation of all that lay ahead of us. He was my answered prayer from God.
Several months later into our interstate relationship, six to be exact, Mark's phone calls came less frequently, and the warmth of our first conversations slowly cooled. I prayed harder and tried to ignore the signs that our relationship was faltering after
only 6 months? Finally, Mark sent a polite letter why he didn't see a future
for us. The note was typed, its tone was painfully businesslike.
"Whenever I think about us, I consistently come up with reasons why you'd be a
wonderful choice, yet, there's a knowing 'feeling' I'm missing...and it's one
I MUST HAVE. Unfortunately, I don't know how to acquire it - - it simply has
to be there."
He closed with an apology, THEN SIMPLY SIGNED HIS NAME.
Joe I read the letter again and again, trying to let the words sink in -- and at the same time trying find hope that might have worked its way between the lines.
But there was none. The person I thought God has sent was gone. And up until
now, at 28, I have not found the right man yet.
It’s becoming frustrating, thinking if ill ever meet someone like Mark again. Sometimes I feel like giving up. I'm tired of getting in and out of a relationship for 8 years now.
What shall I do Joe? The only thing that keeps me busy right now is my work I'm tired of weeknight dates and socialising on weekends hoping to meet mr right. Am I a loser Joe?
All of my friends have engagement rings already, and I really feel bad that I have none. I desire to be held in the arms of Man who will say he loves me and make it real. I don’t want to call myself single or taken but just reserved, reserved for the one who deserves my heart.
All the best to you Joe. Hugs from the capital city,